Tai Hubbert is in charge of the Smif College Williston Library and boss of Marten and Momo. She is a monogamous[3] lesbian and a fan of Jimbo's books. She is married to Dora Bianchi.
Biography[]
Background[]
Besides her job at the library she is TA for a creative writing class.[4] She is also an amateur DJ,[5] working under the name Tai-Fighter.[6]
She used to dress as a boy, though never identified as such and prefers she/her pronouns.[7] She implies that someone outed her to her family at a funeral, whether accidentally or intentionally.[8]
Tai has a Bachelor of Arts degree.[9] She used to live in residence at the college,[10] but is currently cohabitating with her fiancée Dora.[11]
She has stated that Marten is her only close friend.[12]
1–999[]
Tai hired Marten Reed for a job in the Smif College library on the spot when he recognized that the application form was written in iambic pentameter.[13]
Marten discovered that she's a fan of "Drusilla of Boreham Manor", so he took her to the bar to meet the author, Jimbo with Faye and Dora. Her short stature and butch appearance made Dora want to keep her like a pet.[14]
When Tai was given access to the Library's PA system, she piped techno music over it.[15] The school president came in and asked why music was being played, Tai told her it was a Cognitive Science experiment in alternative study environments and held her stance when the president called bullshit.[16]
1000s[]
Tai's idea of bonding with Marten was to go and get a clit piercing, casually stripping off her pants in front of him and requiring him to hold her hand during the procedure.[17] She then went to Coffee of Doom to show to show it to his girlfriend, Dora.[18]
Tai has had a complicated and dynamic pattern of relationships. Originally not into polyamory,[3] she experimented with it,[19] but ultimately decided that she's monogamous.[20]
She decided to hang out more with Marten, under the thesis that he "attract[s] hot chicks like moths to a flame. Eventually ONE of 'em is gonna be into ladies."[21] One time, she got drunk at Marten and Faye's apartment, climbed into Faye's lap, and wouldn't let go, to Faye's annoyance.[22][23] She hit on Hannelore[24] Cosette,[25] asked Marigold out to dinner[26] and offered to make out with her.[27] After meeting Marten's mom, she tried to get her to go clubbing, but Veronica turned her down.[28]
Tai's attraction to Dora was evident early on. She asked Marten if she could borrow his girlfriend after her breakup with Jill,[29] and Dora promised Tai that she could be her rebound if she ever broke up with Marten.[30] Later, Tai declared that her perfect partner was basically Dora, except single.[31] After the breakup, when Tai went to see Dora, she got butterflies in her stomach.[32] She tried to invite Dora to a party, but Dora already had plans[33] (a date with Jim Bean).[34] After her date, Dora went to the party and Tai offered "no-strings casual sex", but then chickened out at the last minute.[35]
2000s[]
The library got three summer interns:[36] Claire, Emily, and Gabby.[37] Tai tasked Marten with supervising and training them, because she felt he needed the extra responsibility.[38] Later, she and Faye ship Marten with each of them, to his annoyance.[39]
Marten told Tai he was cool with her making out with Dora.[40] She drunkenly confessed her feelings to Dora after celebrating a successful month at Coffee of Doom.[41] The next day, she reiterated her feelings to Dora and they had their first kiss.[42] On their first date, they each had a turn getting flustered,[43][44] and though Tai invited her to her room to watch a movie, Dora declined, saying she had to go to work. She had a good time, she said, but wanted to take things slow and grabbed Tai's butt when she kissed her.[45]
Tai panicked and went to Marten for advice. He told her that butt-grabs are Dora code for she's having fun and that if she lets things progress naturally everything will be fine.[46]
They had their first disagreement: Tai expressed concern over Dora first cutting ties with Sven and then firing Faye for drinking on the job. Dora told her to lay off.[47] Marten coached Tai on better communicating with Dora[48] and they made up.[49]
3000s[]
Tai used the L-word when giving her opinion to Dora about her relationship with her brother.[50] Dora called her on it, which got her all flustered, but Dora told her that she loved her too.[51]
With Faye no longer working at the coffee shop, Dora was putting in heavy hours again. Tai talked her into delegating more and even promoting Penelope to assistant manager and maybe going back to therapy.[52]
Tai started rock climbing,[53] and when she met Faye's friend Bubbles, she climbed up the large battle robot.[54]
Tai consoled the distressed Bubbles when Faye ran off to talk to Marten about her feelings for Bubbles.[55] She also advised Claire about stressing out in anticipation of her final exams.[56] When she found out Claire has decided to vape weed with her mother, Tai got Marten to ask if she could join them.[57] Clare and her mom hit the weed really hard, and Tai went out to get snacks. When she returned, she found a dog in the living room with them.[58] She called Dora to be the responsible adult while they took the dog to the Vet to find it's rightful owner.[59] Later, Mrs. Augustus took custody of the dog,[60][61] named Cosmo.[59]
After Dora stated that she would sell her business to go with her should she leave town for a job, Tai proposed to Dora.[62] Marten left not long after to be with Claire, who was stressing out over her librarian test, and wasn't sure whether or not Dora said yes. It was confirmed she did say yes, and now Tai and Dora are engaged.[63]
5000s[]
Dora and Tai got married.[64]
Personality[]
Tai is outgoing and a good-natured boss.[65][66] She is sexually active but before dating Dora actively questioned her lifestyle.[67] While generally at ease in social situations (particularly when compared with Hannelore or Marigold), she freezes up when around someone she really likes.[40]
She enjoys body modification, having multiple tattoos and a clitoral hood piercing.[68] Tai's "Pow!" tattoo is a reminder to herself that she's tough.[69]
Sex and drugs and rock&roll[]
Sexuality[]
Tai is exclusively lesbian. Tai identifies as female, but she was earlier passing as a boy and she used to bind her chest.[16][7] She has previously expressed a sexual interest in Hannelore,[24] though it's unclear how serious she was.
She is known to have had sex on the photocopier at the Williston Library at Smif College.[70]
Drugs[]
At work, Tai has used marijuana[36] and LSD, which makes her "see dragons".[71] She has tranquilizers at home.[72] She also drinks alcohol socially, and attributes her low tolerance to her small frame.[73]
Music preferences[]
Tai has shown some interest in dubstep[44] and is mainly into "weird European electronic stuff".[74] She appears to have a poster of the French electronic music artist Vitalic in her dorm room,[75] and a T-shirt of the German techno record label BPitch Control.[76] At one point she played Gabriel Ananda's Stream of Consciousness through the library PA system.[15] She is a huge fan of German electronic musician Ellen Allien.[77][78]
Hobbies[]
Tai is into acting out scenes from Harry Potter books in public in costume.[79] She is fond of Adventure Time[36] and loves to dance.
During her relationship with Dora, Tai started doing rock-climbing.[53][54]
Trivia[]
- There is portrait of Tai from newspost of Number 1384: Stephen Colbert Incorporated.
- Tai is one of the few characters whose last name was not known until Number 2203: Hubbert's Peak. Her last name is a play on the scientist who developed the theory of "Peak Oil" back in the 1950's.
- Tai has a latex allergy.[68]
Memorable quotes[]
- "Oh come on, it's bad enough knowing my liberal arts degree is gonna be useless. Don't crush ALL my hopes."[3]
- "Omigod Jimbo is SO amazing. He's like..he's like a modern-day Hemingway! Or Faulkner! Except his books are terrible."[80]
- "It was a rhetorical penis!"[81]
- "A life of recreational drug use, casual sex, and occasional studying gets boring after a while, you know."[67]
- "Want me to take off my pants and see if it does anything for you, just in case?"[82]
- "Seriously. Forget girls, I'm an audiosexual now."[83]
- "I started some slashfic that explores each possibility. Got a laptop handy?"[39]
- "HELL yes. My pussy RULES"[43]
Gallery[]
References
- ↑ Number 974: Goes With The Territory
- ↑ Number 1786: Tai_Squadron42
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 Number 728: Bad News
- ↑ Number 777: We May Never Know
- ↑ Number 1511: Wanna Meet That Dad
- ↑ Number 1022: Debut Single "Oops Uh Sorry Um Yeah"
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 Number 974: Goes With The Territory
- ↑ Number 1329: Blind High-Five Attempt
- ↑ Number 789: Animal House
- ↑ Number 726: Polyamory Can Be Tricky
- ↑ 4159: Tai Is Impervious
- ↑ Number 2270: Marten Likes Banana Flavor
- ↑ Number 691: That One Never Gets Old
- ↑ Number 776: Beware Trucks
- ↑ 15.0 15.1 Number 972: Stream Of Consciousness (Original Mix)
- ↑ 16.0 16.1 Number 973: They're Teflon-Coated Steel
- ↑ Number 1245: From Forward Into Reverse—Number 1247: Some Liberties Taken
- ↑ Number 1249: Good Thing They Still Have It
- ↑ Number 765: Bring Binoculars Next Time
- ↑ Number 1595: Not Literally, Anyway—Number 1596: Polydora
- ↑ Number 1695: Dora Is VERY Open-Minded
- ↑ Number 1603: Put On A Dang Sweater—Number 1605: Cat Herd
- ↑ Number 1608: Glompocalypse
- ↑ 24.0 24.1 Number 1243: Canadians Do It Better
- ↑ Number 1706: Hey Many Qualifications
- ↑ Number 1787: Ware Before
- ↑ Number 1791: Oh Jeez, Oh Jeez
- ↑ Number 1823: For The Price Of A Cup Of Tea
- ↑ Number 1398: With Sugar And Strawberries On Top
- ↑ Number 1400: Well-Earned Title
- ↑ Number 1596: Polydora
- ↑ Number 1881: Flippity Flop
- ↑ Number 1945: Hey Dora Hey
- ↑ Number 1944: Ahem Ahem
- ↑ Number 1969: Not As Weird As She Thinks
- ↑ 36.0 36.1 36.2 Number 2203: Hubbert's Peak
- ↑ Number 2207: 1851 Vintage
- ↑ Number 2214: Overambitious
- ↑ 39.0 39.1 Number 2217: A Multitude Of Options
- ↑ 40.0 40.1 Number 2219: Got Get 'Er
- ↑ Number 2227: Awww Yeah
- ↑ Number 2246: Tai Goes Hard
- ↑ 43.0 43.1 Number 2257: Body Image
- ↑ 44.0 44.1 Number 2261: It's Her Superpower
- ↑ Number 2264: Amnesiac
- ↑ Number 2265: My Last Apartment Was Like This—Number 2269: The Lonely Advice Columnist
- ↑ Number 2909: Dummy
- ↑ Number 2913: Life Coach
- ↑ Number 2914: Morning Ritual
- ↑ Number 3021: Whoopsie Daisy
- ↑ Number 3022: Deep Meaning
- ↑ Number 3102: Cannabinerds—Number 3105: Not Unreasonable
- ↑ 53.0 53.1 Number 3443: Soft Bros
- ↑ 54.0 54.1 Number 3450: Ain't No Mountain High Enough
- ↑ 3740: Mobilization Of Forces—3742: There She Is
- ↑ 3823: Sage Advice
- ↑ 3868: Participation
- ↑ 3878: Henlo
- ↑ 59.0 59.1 3879: Pointy Boi
- ↑ 3881: Cosmography
- ↑ 4051: Cosmography
- ↑ 3979: Will She?
- ↑ 3989: These Assholes
- ↑ 5404: Wifery
- ↑ Number 842: A Chip Off The Ol' Block
- ↑ Number 1092: Experience Required
- ↑ 67.0 67.1 Number 1593: Tainclusion
- ↑ 68.0 68.1 Number 1248: That's The Hardest Part
- ↑ Number 2263: Every One Has A Story
- ↑ Number 1131: Dramatization
- ↑ Number 1279: Weedmaster P Is Her Dealer
- ↑ Number 1119: Not Without My Baby
- ↑ Number 1603: Put On A Dang Sweater
- ↑ Number 802: Dirty Laundry
- ↑ Number 1542: Yes, Your Honor
- ↑ Number 962: Hostage Crisis
- ↑ Number 2404: Inappropriate Metal Horns
- ↑ Number 2412: Tschüss
- ↑ Number 814: I Really Wish This Actually Existed
- ↑ Number 786: Ain't Doin' Nothin'
- ↑ Number 1268: The TMI Paradox
- ↑ Number 1792: Just To Be Sure
- ↑ Number 2050: There's A Limiter To Your Love
| Characters | |
|---|---|
| Coffee of Doom | Smif College |
| |
| The Secret Bakery | Union Robotics |
| The Space Station | AI rights nonprofit |
| The Horrible Revelation | Robot-Fighting Ring |
| Cubetown | |
| Parents | |
| Other | |
| Robots | |
| Minor | Filler strips |
| Unnamed/unseen characters | |