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Pintsize is Marten's model 8600[2] Windows[3] AnthroPC, and was the second character introduced in the comic's first strip. He is a companion to Marten and frequently used for comic relief, throw-away gags or to add punchlines to a strip. He can often be found with Winslow. He is one of only three characters in the strip to have his own plush version.



  • Pintsize gets a new M-31 chassis[4]
  • Pintsize's new chassis has an unusual feature[5]
  • Pintsize's new chassis almost gets him wiped[6]
  • Pintsize gets a virus[7]

Pintsize has had a date with another AnthroPC named awesoemPC1998, until finding out that awesoemPC was actually a male anthroPC who was pink.[8] It is implied that they did something explicit, but it's never revealed what (it was strange enough to shock Pintsize, though).

When Marten met Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham, Pintsize gossiped with Winslow.[9] When Dora and Marten went on their first date, Pintsize, Winslow, and Hanners threw a crazy party.[10]

Installation of additional RAM into Pintsize caused him to talk too fast.[11]

With the help of some AntrhoPC friends Pintsize protected Marten, Dora, and Faye from Vespavenger and Vespabot.[12]

He visited Smif College Williston library to get 19th-century pornography fro an archaelogy project.[13]


Pintsize has worried that his antics had been becoming too predictable.[14]

  • Pintsize tries to upgrade himself[15]
  • Pintsize picks a fight with Faye. Oops[16]
  • Pintsize undoes his repairs from that incident[17]


He discusses his work as Marten's companion with Momo in Number 2332: Insider Talk. As it turned out, Pinsize's pairing with Marten might have been skewed by Marten had being scared of Gordon during his application at "AnthroPC Companion Connections".[18]

Pintsize promised not to harass Claire after Marten loomed over him.[19]


Pintsize helped Faye find a job at Robot-Fighting Ring.[20]

Pintsize and Claire get into an argument about the prospects of robots wanting organic bodies and the fact that Claire is trans.[21]

Pintsize disclosed some insecurities about his size to Bubbles when they met[22].

He once got stuck in Claire's hair by accident.[23]

When Claire was stressing out about her exams, Pintsize guided Marten to talk to her about it using Ursula.[24] He then discussed this deviation from his usual antics with Momo and May.[25]

Pintize visited Robot Support Group.[26][27]


Pintsize met Sam, when she needed to get emergency shorts for Millefeuille.[28]

Eventually he got a new chassis.[29] He intended on applying to work at a sex toy factory[30] but changed his mind when he learned that employees would not receive free dildos.[31]

Pintsize and Marten meet Willow Dragonfang after she crashes her RC quadcopter into Marten's head.[32]


Pintsize is often tied up against a wall to stop him from his antics

Pintsize is mischievous[33] but loyal.[34] Most of his hijinks are sexual in nature, such as forming his own Monopoly board out of the contents of Faye's underwear drawer.[35] or trying to "comfort" Faye after her falling out with Sven.[36] It is possible that his offensive pranks are miscalculation,[37] but some are downright alarming.[38]

Pintsize is foul-mouthed, using both human and robot[39] profanity.

Despite his deviant nature, Pintsize can be kind-hearted.[40] This is perhaps the only trait he shares with Marten. It has been suggested that the companion AI broker who paired them up made a mistake.[41]

When it is absolutely necessary to keep Pintsize under control, he can be immobilized with duct tape.

Pintsize keeps a wide variety of costumes on hand which he wears to be humorous or weird.[42][43]

Pintsize's food preferences include cake mix and user manuals.[7]

Pintsize is the audience's favorite AnthroPC by a narrow margin. He beat Winslow and Momo by one vote in a poll on the Questionable Content forum.[44]


Pintsize spends his spare time collecting pornography[45][46] and running the SETI screensaver.[47] He occasionally calculates prime numbers, but this is less common. He uses his twitter account to post disgusting, horrific, or otherwise bizarre sex drawings.

When with other AnthroPCs, he participates in role-playing games.[48]


Pintsize is configured in software as a male and seeks out female-configured AnthroPCs for cybersex.[49] He has frequently made (crude) advances to humans, always women, making him a heterosexual. To please them he has a vibration mode.[50]

He tried to console Marten after his breakup with Dora using a fleshlight glued onto his chassis.[51]

Pintsize has attempted to copulate with Coffee of Doom's espresso machine.[52]

He once tried facesitting with May, but was disappointed, as it "doesn't feel very transgressive".[53]

Pintsize appears to have a toast fetish.[54] He created a profile on a dating site Computr, describing his interest to "shoot toast at your body".[1] He matched with Roko Basilisk because of her bread fetish.[55] The date didn't go as well as he wanted, because Roko didn't enjoy toast being launched at her during dinner.[56]

Pintsize has a Tinder account.[57]

Pintsize is not comfortable being identified as part of the anti-analingus group.[58]


Pintsize is not a frequent drug user but has gotten stoned on video drivers[59] and hallucinated on virtual peyote.[60]

Music preferences[]

Pintsize is difficult to use for media playback because he insists instead on loudly yelling the lyrics to "Crazy Train," which is (in his words) "the best song ever".[61] He considers Toto's best song to be "Hold the Line".[62] When considering forming a sovereign nation of copies of himself, he chose Björk's "Army of Me" as the national anthem.[63]


Pintsize is equipped with a M31 Combat Chassis with 512 MB of RAM,[64], an optical drive,[65], USB,[66] DVI,[67] Ethernet,[68] and wireless[47] network interfaces, spectrometer in his mouth with which he tastes things[69] LASER weapon (formerly) and suction cup feet,[70] but does not have a built-in camera.[citation needed] The spectrometer and associated holding tank were described as new features, implying that they were part of the M-31 chassis and not part of the stock one.[citation needed]

The spectrometer seems to be a seldom-encountered accessory. Even Momo's high-end chassis has no chemosensor[71] and AnthroPC enthusiast Marigold was confused to hear an AnthroPC describing smells.[72]

The M-31 chassis is easy to repair,[73] which is handy since he lives with Faye. It also seems to grant him a high amount of resistance to cold weather, as he was able to easily function in cold that caused Winslow's Apple chassis to lock up completely. He is however powerless against duct tape, which is occasionally used to restrain him & prevent further pranks/damages.

Pintsize's new chassis is not military-grade like his old one[74], and it has a "USB port where a human's junk would be."[75]


  • Removal of the laser from Pintsize's chassis has been referenced several years later in Number 2107: Sweet Ride.
  • Pintsize does mathematical calculations for fun, so it's appropriate that his name is an anagram for "zest in pi". His sexual grossness is echoed by the anagram "penis zit".

Memorable quotes[]

  • "I would be delicious"[76]
  • "It is hard to get a lady to evaluate to true."[77]
  • "Having a conversation with Faye is bound to lead to a system crash one way or another."[78]
  • "Nobody ever grabs my bottom"[79]
  • "All the COOL robots are doing it"[80]
  • "I think you have very good-looking breasts, Faye."[81]
  • "They were firm, yet supple, with perky nipples and just the right amount of jiggling"[82]
  • "I'm Pintsize, and you have some truly excellent hooters."[83]
  • "Do not mock the Breast Jihad!"[84]
  • "I'm a performance artist, and my medium is irate ladies"[85]
  • "I clipped your toenails while you slept. So I could make them part of my COLLECTION."[86]
  • "Okay, let's go to the meat market and get a severed pig-head to put under Faye's blankets!"[37]
  • "Well yeah, it's not a GOOD idea, but it's a FUN idea."[87]
  • "Right then! Let's go set something on fire."[88]
  • "Fire, filth and destruction? Clearly we are going to make good neighbours."[89]
  • "I'm good at deforestation."[90]
  • "Common concerns such as property damage and wholesale destruction are of no concern to the King!"[91]
  • "He doesn't have to wake up, you know. I have a laser, and we have a garbage disposal."[92]
  • "Wait, I'm supposed to be HELPING?"[93]
  • "Thongs for everyone!"[94]
  • "I like to feel pretty sometimes!"[95]
  • "I'm always naked!"[96]
  • "Maybe a woman isn't what you need! Have you considered robosexuality?"[97]
  • "I will TOTALLY be your glorified dildo!"[97]
  • "Rule 34 is the ultimate expression of human creativity!"[98]
  • "He's going to dinner-fuck her booze-hole!"[99]
  • "Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer."[100]
  • "Nobody could ever be hipper than you, Faye"[101]
  • "I don't explode cats. It's way too difficult to coax them into the microwave."[102]
  • "Those preschoolers will remember that day for the rest of their lives."[103]
  • "I've stagnated. My wacky antics have become tired, predictable, PASSE. I need to take my art to the next level, but I can't find the proper muse. I will find a cold, grey beach and stand on it, staring out to sea. I will smoke a cigarette and ask the waves rhetorical questions about existence."[14]
  • "When talking about the human experience, it all comes back to poopin' eventually."[104]


One open and obvious question is how Pintsize got the way he is. There have been some interesting ideas about this on the forum.

One suggestion, from jwhouk, is that Pintsize was originally Marten's mom's AnthroPC.[105] This theory is debunked in the mini-arc starting from Number 2331: Not Rhetorical

Another idea, from Blackjoker, is that Pintsize began to get interested in porn as a way of cheering up Marten but his programming ran away with itself when he discovered rich veins of bizarre things on the Internet.[106]

And then there's the Stanford buttock-touching robot.[107]



  1. 1.0 1.1 3694: Beucephalus Rides Again
  2. Number 145: Irresistable
  3. Number 855: Robo-Cockblocked
  4. Number 60: Pintsize 2.0
  5. Number 61: I Am Your Father
  6. Number 147: The Feds
  7. 7.0 7.1 Number 267: Delicious Documentation
  8. Number 339: The Closest I'll Ever Get To Filler Art
  9. Number 590: Delicious Gossip
  10. Number 611: Robots Gone WildNumber 612: Where Does He Keep His Bike?
  11. Number 629: My G5 Does The Same Thing
  12. Number 747: Latin Humor
  13. Number 770: Ironically He Probably Could Have Found That On The Internet
  14. 14.0 14.1 Number 1158: Suffer For Your Art
  15. Number 1411: Just Because You're Paranoid
  16. Number 1450: Open High
  17. Number 1457: His First Instinct Upon Waking
  18. Number 2336: Grim Truths
  19. Number 2896: Parley
  20. Number 3001: Legalize It, Number 3002: Conspiracy Theory, Number 3005: A Multitude Of Talents
  21. Number 3185: Fleshy Bits
  22. Number 3009: They Should Go To The Support Group
  23. 3672: Feels Like We've Been Hair Before
  24. 3813: A Firm Hand
  25. 3826: Wacky Sidekicks
  26. Number 3265: Let's Talk It Out
  27. 3768: It Keeps Happening
  28. 4145: Vocabulary Lessons
  29. 4531: Oh No
  30. 4534: A Job's A Job
  31. 4535: The Winnowing Process
  32. 4747: Drone Metal4750: Getting Her Up To Speed
  33. Number 639: Jenna Bush Is #4
  34. Number 747: Latin Humor
  35. Number 142: The Thongs Are The Cheap Property
  36. Number 1349: That's Gotta Be A Fire Hazard
  37. 37.0 37.1 Number 890: Creative Differences
  38. Number 1087: It's The Thought That Counts
  39. Number 1200: Don't Even Mention Dvorak
  40. Number 430: Another Gift Horse
  41. Number 2336: Grim Truths
  42. Number 163: Snip Snip
  43. Number 707: My Apologies To Takehiko Inoue
  45. Number 1414: The Room
  46. Number 2331: Not Rhetorical
  47. 47.0 47.1 Number 2: While You Were Out...
  48. Number 176: Messageboards Are For Nerds
  49. Number 346: It Would Be Pretty Cute
  50. Number 396: Faye Is Sort Of Channeling Me Here
  51. Number 1812: Just Like The Real Thing
  52. Number 2574: I Guess He Walked There Himself
  53. Number 3350: A Dream Deferred, Number 3351: Requiem For A Dream
  54. Number 2908: Toasty
  55. 3700: Loafing Around
  56. 3690: They Matched On Computr
  57. Number 3263: We Found Love In A Hopeless Place
  58. 4750: Getting Her Up To Speed
  59. Number 874: Trippy Antialiasing
  60. Number 2103: Yearly Pilgrimage
  61. Number 43: I'm Going Off The Rails
  62. Number 1737: Hidden Criteria???
  63. Number 1183: El Matador
  64. Number 629: My G5 Does The Same Thing
  65. Number 5: Chicks Dig Disc Drives
  66. Number 1367: Secret Watch-List
  67. Number 466: Mind Control
  68. Number 8: Sexy Ports
  69. Number 212: Does Thinkgeek Sell Pampers?
  70. Number 91: Salo Would Be Proud
  72. Number 1999: It's Been A Recurring Problem
  74. 4538: Survivability
  75. 4537: Freedom Of Expression
  76. Number 20: Not As Good As Pie
  77. Number 189: WWHWD?
  78. Number 123: Microcosm
  79. Number 146: She Couldn't Resist
  80. Number 590: Delicious Gossip
  81. Number 112: Ctrl/Alt/Del
  82. Number 33: I Spy
  83. Number 490: Superb Owls
  84. Number 1460: Initiate Threat Protocol
  85. Number 277: Oddly Obvious
  86. Number 730: Creeped Out Again
  87. Number 805: Unplumbed Depths
  88. Number 668: Wait Why Does He Need The Beer?
  89. Number 390: Not A Recommended Cleaning Method
  90. Number 393: One Ton Wonton
  91. Number 125: The Royal We
  92. Number 148: Never Saw It Coming
  93. Number 11: The Wrong Thing at the Wrong Time
  94. Number 781: Merry Christmas! (3rd time's a charm)
  95. Number 1009: More Gratuity
  96. Number 389: Brother Faye
  97. 97.0 97.1 Number 1602: Robophobia
  98. Number 1435: Let's Vote On It, Everybody
  99. Number 1627: Pintsize Stoops To New Lows
  100. Number 430: Another Gift Horse
  101. Number 667: Axe Body Spray
  102. Number 210: Utahraptor Has No Posse
  103. Number 402: It's Seriously Like 250K
  104. Number 270: Cheap Humor