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Emily Azuma is a part-time barista at Coffee of Doom. She used to be an intern at the Williston Library of Smif College.

Biography Edit

Marten Reed trained Emily with Claire and Gabby during their first day of internship at the library.

Emily was not actually a library science major,[1] and was doing the internship because she "really likes the smell of books." She apparently didn't take the internship very seriously. Her computer science studies have also been less than diligent at times.[2]

Emily is no longer an intern at the library, having been accidentally hired to work at Coffee of Doom.[3] On her first day on the new job, Emily was very excited and enthusiastic. However, she missed most of her training, because she couldn't handle the shaking after drinking the first espresso she pulled.[4]

Emily has only been in one relationship, with a boy for two weeks in high school.[5]

During their first meeting, Emily hit Bubbles with a rubber mallet usually used for banana smoothies.[6] As an apology, Emily gifted a collapsible memoryfoam polymer cardigan.[7]

Trivia Edit

  • Emily's last name is a reference to Azumanga Daioh creator Kiyohiko Azuma.[8]
  • Emily drinks recreationally.[9]
  • She is easily the tallest female character in the comic, standing several inches taller than Marten and possibly even as tall as Sven, though not nearly as tall as Elliot.
  • One of Emily's hobbies is tracking the Fairy girl.[10]

Memorable quotesEdit

  • "Permission to get high as hell and go watch Adventure Time with Ms. Hubbert?"[11]
  • "Banana smoothie."[12]
  • "If they ever figure out mind uploading, I wanna be a toaster"[13]
  • "Muskrat muskrat muskrat muskrat"[14]


As of the events of Number 2733: Gross Gross Gross, it is evident that she may have a crush on Marten. Saying things such as "..I liked it, I think Marten is cute" and "He has a cute butt, too!"

Emily's oddities have raised the question of whether she's on the autism spectrum. Jeph Jacques has said only "Emily is a bit touched in the head".[15]

Emily has repeatedly asked Momo elementary questions about robots.[16] When asked how, as a computer science student, she could not know the answers, Emily admitted that she had spent all of AI 101 looking at cat gifs.[2]

There may be a general pattern of disrespect for robots on Emily's part.[17][18]

At one point Emily appears to have inadvertently invoked the Turing Theorem, and thus may be under observation by the Black Chamber and similar organizations.[19] On multiple occasions, Emily has produced software and/or associated techniques on a level that has resulted in calls to the government and classification of what she made.[20]

Emily has acted particularly strange in regards to dating, suggesting she may be aromantic.[21]

See alsoEdit


  1. Number 2207: 1851 Vintage
  2. 2.0 2.1 Number 2284: Also Dog Jpegs
  3. Number 3106: Free Smoothies
  4. Number 3112: Carpe OpusNumber 3116: Return Of The Jedi
  5. Number 2568: Bad Romance
  6. Number 3144: SubstitutionNumber 3151: Future Visitations
  7. Number 3180: They're On Speed Dial Now
  9. Number 2328: Atamagaitai
  10. Number 3308: Context Is Everything
  11. Number 2203: Hubbert's Peak
  12. Number 2213: It's Intoxicating
  13. Number 2283: Or Maybe A Bagel Slicer
  14. Number 2302: Ondatra Zibethicus
  16. Number 2465: A Question Of Belief
  17. Number 2340: First Impressions
  18. Number 2250: Color Gamut
  19. Number 2853: From Orbit, No Less
  20. Number 3180: They're On Speed Dial Now
  21. Number 3207: Everything Is Ruined Forever
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