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List of specials is often seen in the background of the comic.

The Coffee of Doom Specials on the blackboard are most often jokes by the Coffee of Doom staff, typically involving black humor (e.g., "We stab you so you can call in sick").

User beaniesue on the LiveJournal QC group compiled a list of CoD specials through comic 1432 and updated it to show Coffee of Doom specials through mid-2010.

1–999[]

Number 10: Coffeeshop Lust

  • Rockin Latte
  • Black Metal Mocha
  • Emospresso
  • Electroclash Frappe
  • “Tip us or we will kill again”

Number 82: Manly Drinks

  • Latte w/ Bourbon-flavored syrup
  • Fried Egg Mocha
  • Shot of espresso and a punch in the mouth
  • “We are surly because you suck”

Number 101: Airplane Simile

  • Flavors of teh day
  • Sextuple espresso
  • Latte of DOOM
  • Vodkoffee!

Number 167: Fuck You, Bladder!

  • Today’s Specials
  • “Yum” Triple Chocolate Mocha
  • “Eww!” – Triple Pork Mocha
  • “Fuck you, bladder” – 60 oz. coffee
  • “Starbucks is for assholes”

Number 239: Aliens Shot JFK

  • Triple Chocolate mocha
  • Triple mocha chocolate
  • Spam, spam, spam, mocha, and spam
  • We stab you so you can call in sick
  • “Please do not poke the baristas”

Number 279: This Is What I Keep Talking About

  • Today is Free Beating Day
  • for more info, please annoy the nearest employee

Number 325: My Kind Of Smoothie

  • Red Bull and Peanut Butter
  • Espresso in espresso
  • No-Doz 20oz

Number 360: Consult Your English Textbooks

  • Triple espresso brownie
  • Triple brownie espresso
  • We Prank-Call your Boss
  • TEA OF DOOM (x eyes dead smilie face)

Number 397: Kinda Gentler

  • A sharp blow to the back of the head
  • Tea (tea is for wimps)
  • Pseudomocha
  • Wedgies!

Number 419: Venti Schmenti

  • Regular ol’ coffee (with snakes)
  • Regular ol’ tea (with more snakes)
  • Snakes (with spiders)

Number 439: So Kawaii

  • We’re remodeling
  • Make up your own damn specials

Number 467: Listed As Threatened

  • Chaitea
  • Chaicoffee
  • Gincoffee
  • Noogies!

Number 537: Just Think About It, Really

  • Double Chocolate Mocha
  • We hit you with the broom
  • We hit your stupid friend with the broom
  • Mass-brooming!

Number 574: A Common Fantasy

  • Quadruple Espresso Monstrosity
  • Carnivorous Plant Latte
  • <DICK>< Cookies!

Number 615: That's Some Good Webcest

  • Coffee with a scone in it
  • Scone with a cookie in it
  • Your ass with a hamster in it

Number 651: Doin' The Force Choke

  • Waiting in line
  • Crankiness
  • Beatings

Number 692: You Learn Weird Things When You're Raised Catholic

  • Spicy Mocha
  • Spicy Latte
  • Turkey Bomb

Number 725: For Some Reason A Witty Title Eludes Me

  • Nothin’ yet!

Number 734: Banter Practice

  • Spraypaint latte
  • Jerky mocha
  • Free punch from our new employee!

Number 751: Poison Dart Insults

  • 2 for 1 espresso
  • Free SPAM? w/ purchase
  • Lemons

Number 790: Probably Based On A True Story

  • Think about dogs
  • Think about dongs
  • Think about dugouts

Number 810: And Now You Will Too

  • Mocha w/a battery in it
  • Pile of screws
  • Lasers!

Number 853: Does That Count As A Free Drink?

  • Cat hair latte
  • Espresso w/ pipe tabacco
  • Bucket o’ fish
  • A single coffee bean, lovingly pounded into your forehead

Number 880: QC Fanfic Squadron ENGAGE

  • “Team Samosa” – Virgin Mimosa
  • F.I.S.T. full of coffee 

Number 886: Everyone Does It

  • Dill Mocha
  • Hemp latte
  • Dennis Kucinich

Number 898: Angus Looks Ridiculous In That Shirt

  1. Oreo Latte
  2. Caramel Mocha
  3. Wikipedia Vandalism Espresso

Number 902: The Theories Were Wrong

  1. Chocolate Americano
  2. We Pinch you and Put It on Youtube

Number 906: They'll Be Doing This For Twenty Minutes Straight

  • The Specials are Cancelled
  • Until we get some fucking tips, people!

Number 958: 'Stache Rides?

  • Metallica Mocha
  • Megadeth Milkshake
  • Mastodon Muffins

Number 970: That's What Friends Are For

  • You give us money, we give you coffee
  • Lolcat latte

Number 976: Dora Dharma

  • WE FIRE A HARPOON
  • INTO YOUR FACE

Number 991: Feel The Burn

  • Chupacabralatte
  • Bigfoot 22-oz espresso
  • Yeti cannolli

1000s[]

Number 1001: I Can Has CatPuter?

  • Hang on hang on dang it

Number 1013: Who'd Be John Connor?

  • Portal Muffin Cube
  • Half-Latte: Episode I
  • Team Fortress Frappe

Number 1031: They're, Like, Pretty Big

  • Muffin Shaped Like Laura Bush
  • Muffin Shaped Like Rachel Ray
  • Muffin Shaped Like a Dog Fighting a Crow

Number 1037: Based On A True Story

  • Hurrrrrrr

Number 1055: Something About Them Appeals

  • Bacon Muffin
  • Bacon Espresso
  • Bacon Latte (vegan)

Number 1061: Rank And File

  • Space muffin

Number 1086: More Subtext

  • A tic tac toe puzzle
  • OXO
  • XXO
  • XOX 

Number 1093: The Game's Afoot

  • Pour a 40 for Gygax

Number 1121: The Grand Return

  • Cup o’ Peas
  • Cup o’ bees
  • Cup o’ pee

Number 1136: Dubble Trubble

  • NO GUM ALLOWED IN CoD ANYMORE

Number 1151: Nice Try, Though

  • Mocha w/ a hair in it
  • Latte w/ apple core
  • Scone of Bone

Number 1179: There's One For Every Occasion

  • Raccoon Scone
  • Pidgeon Macchiatto
  • Fleas

Number 1205: Shouldn't Have Brought That One Along

  • Cat-hair latte
  • Litterbox Brownie
  • Daft Punk @ 200 dB

Number 1231: Pssssht

  • Honey latte
  • Nutty Mocha
  • Cup o’ Bees

Number 1255: Consummate

  • EROTIC TOAST

Number 1258: For Great Justice

  • 🧀

Number 1270: Tiny Stonehenge

  • Faux-coroa
  • Pseudo-latte
  • Metacrino

Number 1276: Oh Dear Jesus NoNumber 1284: Suffer For Your Art

  • Were pretty good, for a ska band

Number 1288: Another Penny-Rant

  • We murder your pet and burn your house down
  • $3.95

Number 1307: Questionable Progress

  • .coffee {class:organic;
  • variety:ethiopian;
  • flavor: #hazelnut;}

Number 1311: A Trustworthy Bunch

  • Abominable latte
  • Yellow snow chai
  • Hypothermia

Number 1323: And It Just Got Worse

  • Fuck
  • You

Number 1357: Later Captured By Interpol

  • Peppermint latte
  • Aniseed mocha
  • Ferret muffins
  • Fresh!

Number 1360: She's Be Fine In An Hour Or So

  • ½ price bagels
  • 2x price muffins
  • Bacon latte

Number 1403: Punk'd

  • Concrete latte
  • Steel ?
  • Unionization
  • Brownies
  • POOP
  • LOL

Number 1432: Or Born To Be Wild

  • Habanero scones
  • Chorizo latte

Number 1446: Aw Come On, Plenty Of Stuff Can Do That

  • Robo Latte
  • Machinesspresso
  • Crush

Number 1479: Pillaging Was Their Version Of Twitter

  • Whale-flavored latte
  • ambergris tea
  • BLOOD + THUNDER

Number 1507: Lest It Be Overrun By Jungle

  • chococaramocha
  • megalatte
  • farts

Number 1529: The Webcartoonist Lifestyle

  • Moose Latte
  • Moose Mocha
  • Trampling

Number 1538: Euphemising Euphemisms

  • Murlock Mocha
  • Cthulhu Chai
  • Eldritch Muffins

Number 1558: They're In The Dumpster

  • Free Children
  • (ask around back)

Number 1581: I Groaned So Hard

  • Sex Pony Mocha — a reference to a nickname Faye gave to Dora.[1]
  • Humpy Sound Latte
  • Butts LOL. See also: Butts disease.

Number 1590: Banterfail

  • Cinammon latte
  • blueberry scone
  • no small talk, please

Number 1615: Last Party She Was Invited To

  • Death Metal Latte

Number 1637: If You Can't Laugh At YourselfNumber 1641: Foulest Betrayal

  • yerba mate latte
  • flamed orange peel mocha
  • BLOOD TREE MOCHA

Number 1665: New England Style, Of Course

  • Nothing yet, hold yer fuckin' horses

Number 1673: Playdate

  • FRESH
  • FUCKIN'
  • BAGELS

Number 1704: Barista Futures Market

  • Banana Mocha
  • Banana Brownies
  • Banana Bread
  • We got way too many bananas

Number 1707: Frenemy Employment

  • Yak butter in everything!

Number 1758: Oh Shit

  • ? new employee: $1
  • Spank new employee: $20,000

Number 1780: They've Had AI Since 1996

  • NOTHING TODAY,
  • JERKS

Number 1805: Executioner's Blues

  • none today.
  • fuck off.

Number 1856: The Inner Universe

  • ? sausage latte
  • granola mocha
  • crunchy chai

Number 1880: Marigold Is Pretty Harsh

  • cayenne mocha
  • tequila latte (w/worm)
  • cactus up the butt

Number 1907: Work Up To It

  • ?
  • ?
  • ? pie?

2000s[]

Number 2079: Figuraliterally

  • bone marrow scones
  • bone marrow latte
  • BONE MARROW

Number 2209: Which One Is Dilbert

  • BLOOD LATTE
  • SCAB MOCHA
  • BONE AMERICANO
  • HOT DOG MUFFIN

Number 2239: Next: Bathroom Privileges

  • Bone Meal
  • Marrow Mocha
  • Rawhide ?
  • Butts LOL
  • I bet you wanna get all up in TAI’S business

Number 2274: Guest Strip- Maritza Campos (guest strip)

  • FREE enema

Number 2280: Plato's Coffeeshop

  •  ∧   ∧
  •  o   o
  •   ⏖
  • ASK ME HOW TO DRAW A KITTY!

Number 2316: Guest Strip: Ponyleaks (guest comic)

  • SPATHE HAM
  • FISH HEADS
  • UNSHELLED WALNUT MUFFINS
  • A KICK IN THE SHIN

Number 2373: Canine Heirs

  • Ghost Pepper Mocha
  • Buffalo Scones
  • Really shitty granola

Number 2424: The New Hermitage

  • Deconstructed Latte
  • Postmodern Mocha
  • “Honey” “Buns”

Number 2527: Putting In Hours

  • go back to bed

Number 2546: Estimated Wait: 45 Minutes

  • Say hello to our new employee, Dale!  :-)

Number 2574: I Guess He Walked There Himself

  • Punch the new guy: $1
  • ? $50

Number 2585: Employee Contacts

  • you are very special

Number 2695: First Base

  • Have a drink prepared by unpaid child labor

Number 2915: The Best TLD

  • Kale ?
  • Kale Mocha
  • Kale ?

Number 2987: QC Guest Week 2015: Veronica (guest comic)

  • Pumpkin spice pumpkin
  • K-cup Mocha Latte

3000s[]

Number 3012: Comfort Food

  • Sausage Latte
  • Beef scone
  • blood muffin

Number 3449: Or A Crawl-Space

  • Blood Latte *fair trade, organic blood*
  • Chorizo Scone *also has blood in it*
  • iced blood

Number 3556: QC Guest Week 2017: Danielle Corsetto

  • Special tea du jour:
  • Hot Assam
  • ass us for a sample!
  • Buttercream cappuccino
  • derriére you to try it!

Trivia[]

References

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